Ready Or Not
by QuirkyFoxGirl
Summary: Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn’t ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Drama ensues. The requested sequel to Every Man Has a Kelly
1. Never Mess With A Jedi

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Ryan, Kelly, any other character, or The Office it's self. I am in no way affiliated with NBC, or any of the actors (except John Krasiniski, who I'm leaving my husband for…. but neither of them know it yet!)

**Summary: **Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn't ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Now it's meddling sisters, co-workers, and mother-in-laws-to-be. And who in the Hell is Dr. McPerfectIndian, and who does he think he is? So begins the most awful period of Ryan's life; but at times the most awesome.

**Authors Note**: As promised, here it is! A sequel to **"Every Man has a Kelly."** Not sure if those of you who wanted it still do, but I think since it seems my favorite couple won't be getting back together this season (Especially since she fake a pregnancy, and he's just a scruffy meanie!)

Slow, as all my stories are at the start. It will get better! Hope it's what you all wanted 33

**Ready Or Not**

* * *

I. Never Mess With A Jedi

* * *

// Individual shot Michael//

Michael looks very perturbed, and scowls before speaking.

"Me and Jan, no were still together, we're great…fanfreakintastic" He taps irritated on his desk, and it seems he is going to keep up the rock hard wall, but just as the camera are pulling back, he snaps.

"It's Ryan!" He half wails, and the camera immediately zooms back in. "I thought him coming back here was the best thing ever. But it's not the same. He never pays me any attention anymore. I mean, he used to look up to me, to idolize me. This is worse than what happened at his business school. It just blows. Jan doesn't understand. She's a real bee-atch about the whole thing. I think the elastic on her sweat pants is getting too tight."

He looks sick as he watches out his office window in the main floor. He moves a huge peace lily, which has been awkwardly sitting on his desk, in front of his line of vision.

* * *

Kelly and Ryan walk in holding hands, and seemingly both upbeat. She's getting the croup, so she didn't really talk all the way to work, so Ryan is feeling _especially_ close to her this morning. He kisses her on the cheek as they part ways, and she goes to her seat in the back. Michael has moved him back to where he was seated before the debacle at his school. It's not that bad. He loves Kelly, but he finds it's easier not want to plunge something sharp into his eardrums if he's only forced to hear her half of the day.

"That was disgusting. You really should keep your lips put away during work. It is disrespectful to co-workers. We sell paper here, not sex." Dwight states, irritatingly.

"Really? Man Dwight, then I wouldn't go on that sales call alone later. If we don't sell sex here, I severely mislead Mr. Hughes." Jim quips from his nearby desk, and Ryan smiles.

Though being _Ryan_, he feels like he could have handled Dwight's snide comments without Jim's witticisms. He was the boss of this place, briefly.

"So…Ry-an" Dwight continues, seemingly un affected "You planning on making an honest woman of Kelly, or are you going to plant your seed in her and then move on to the next bud ripe for germination?"

"Wow. You have a way with words Dwight. You should look into poetry." Jim says, as earnestly as he can muster, winking at Pam who is of course listening to the whole thing.

" Poetry is for the lesser male like yourself Halpert. Shrutes don't write poetry… We compose original folklore."

"Wait…how can you compose 'original' folklore. Isn't the point of folklore that it's ancients myths that have been passed down for generations?" Pam adds.

Dwight shiftily avoids the question, though he likely had a crafty answer for it.

"Back to the matter of a Kelly's honor. How long do you plan lit on her before you fly off to your next harlot tulip?"

Ryan was eighty-percent sure that Dwight had just called Kelly a tramp, but he couldn't be positive. So he jut continued typing, and tried not to look at Dwight. That was a good rule of thumb at anytime.

"Got you Dwight…I'll get her some tulips."

Dwight scowled.

"I can see you are not taking your relationship seriously. I never believed you were in earnest anyhow. Especially after that night in New York. Pimping her out to hobos, taking her shoes as collateral. It's just a sick game to you isn't it …Turkey?" Dwight seethes, and uses turkey because he has never been good at thinking of insulting names. He had to give it to Bernard. The man can sure insult.

" Okay, I'm going to get Andy, because you're stealing his nicknames." Jim says, and really exits to go fill his coffee cup in the break room, and Pam exits behind him.

Ryan, however, does not take this as lightly as he did the first, and actually looks at Dwight for the first time.

"Why not try minding your own business, for once, Count Chocula?"

Dwight seems happy by this obvious irritation he has caused.

"Oops. Struck a nerve. Or, did I hit to close to the real truth for your liking? You hate that someone sees through your feigned innocence, your childish awkwardness. You hate that I know you for the beast you are. Kelly may be a simple minded woman, but she will be enlightened to your evil, and climb out of the vortex you call a relationship, and so will Michael. I won't allow you this control forever."

"Dwight, I'm warning you to shut up now…" Ryan says glaring. A month and a half of Dwight's idiotic 'war' against him was enough. His nerves were wearing thin and he just wanted quiet. Hell, he'd even prefer hearing Kelly describe Zac Efron's personal life and schedule…again.

"Why Ryan? Scared the whole office is beginning to see through you? Well wake up and smell the fresh beet and jelly stew, they ARE! We all know you're secrets!"

That was it. He was just tired of this.

"Oh really? Then maybe they need to know you're secrets too. Yeah, attention everybody. You know the mean blonde prude Angela; well it seems her and our resident deputy dog here have been giving each other 'cookie' for years. And yeah, by that, I mean they're screwing."

He's surprised he's able to get it all out, and a second after saying it, that dear in head lights look comes back on face, and he brings his hand to his mouth. What did he just do?

Everything was still and quiet. Until finally a sort of low repressed sob could be heard, and in a flash of blonde, Angela was in the girl's room.

Dwight looked in horror upon Ryan. Pondering whopping out his spud gun. No, he thought. He could do one better. Later. Now, he must tend to Monkey.

"Monkey! Nobody thinks you're a slut…I promise. They're all going to sign a memo to that effect as soon as I draw it up," He pleads at the door.

* * *

// Individual shot Ryan, still looking shell shocked//

"Why do I have the distinct feeling I'm going to wake up in morning with a light saber jabbing in my stomach, with a beet being jammed down my throat?"

* * *

Lunch was tense. Angela and Dwight had not came out with them. It had been Jim's idea to try to clear the air and have everyone eat out, on the company, for lunch. Without those offended in attendance, it kind of lost purpose. Everything here did.

Ryan felt a little bad, and even Kelly cooing how perfect he was in his ear couldn't make him feel better. The worst part was, he was going to have to apologize to Dwight. Ugh. Could it get any worse?

When they filed back in for lunch, Ryan hung back listening to Kevin and Jim discuss Fantasy Football near the elevator while everyone else went ahead. He was in no hurry.

"OHMIGOD!!!!"

Kelly's loud shrill erupted from the office, and the three guys rushed into to see what was going on.

As soon as he entered, Kelly's petite frame was upon him, her arms around his neck pulling him into long kiss. He wasn't usually one for PDA, but the kiss felt so nice that he didn't mind, and even laughed when he could finally breathe again.

"What was that for?"

"Oh Ryan, silly, that means YES!"

"Yes…to what?"

"Yes, to our eternal lives together. Yes, to having your babies. Yes, to making your coffee in the morning. Yes, to being your ultra hot trophy wife. Yes, Ryan Bailey Howard, I will marry you!" With this, she began planting kisses all over his cheeks.

Ryan thought for two seconds that Kelly had taken something Creed offered her and was just out of her mind. Not that she didn't constantly talk about being his wife and having his kids, but now she was acting as if he had asked her. The only thing he could recall asking her all day was if she would pass the salt at lunch earlier. She must have taken something. But, he then realized that everyone was clapping.

Phyllis looked misty eyed, Pam was aglow and leading the clap, and even Jim looked impressed. They had to know this was just Kelly being Kelly right? They had to know he was just getting used to the idea of loving Kelly, and was nowhere near the realm of marrying her. Right?

That was when he looked up, and saw it. The whole office was covered in vases of roses of different colors. Balloons were afloat, Marvin Gaye was playing, and white streamer was everywhere. He even thought he saw a couple doves smashing into things. None of this caused him almost choke as much as a large banner hanging from the ceiling. In between two large wedding bells, it proclaimed.

"Marry Me Kelly?

Ryan"

"Wait…I didn-"

"I know, I know." Dwight interceded, and Ryan quickly noted the devilish glint to his eyes. "You didn't order the pink roses, but the florist thought they complimented the red and white ones so well that she threw them in extra…I told her you would be _delighted_"

Oh God. Who ever knew that messing with Dwight Schrute really could be the worst mistake you ever made? One that could cost you your life.

* * *

//Individual shot, a sullen Michael//

"So they're tying the knot. B.F.D. Marriage isn't permanent. I just heard on the radio that the divorce rate is higher than ever…and I knew it was good news when I heard it. Even if they do stay together, I will always mean more to him. Bro's before ho's…especially if the ho is your wife."

**F/N**: I'm really bad at grammar…horrid. I haven't found a beta reader, and don't stay on enough to do so. Sorry if it's cringe worthy!


	2. Just BeLIEve

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Ryan, Kelly, any other character, or The Office it's self. I am in no way affiliated with NBC, or any of the actors.

**Summary: **Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn't ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Now it's meddling sisters, co-workers, and mother-in-laws-to-be. And who in the Hell is Dr. McPerfectIndian, and who does he think he is? So begins the most awful period of Ryan's life; but at times the most awesome.

**Authors Note**: I'm pretty swamped at work, booking all sorts of hoilday trips and such, plus my son's doing travel ball, so my updates will be less frequent than with **Every Man has a Kelly**. I'll try my best to get up at least one a day, but somedays it might not be possible. Story is still coming slowly, but I have some good plans for it, so bear with me!

* * *

**Ready Or Not**

* * *

II. Just Be_lie_ve

* * *

//Individual shot Kelly. //

"Are you kidding? Am I happy? Let me put it this way, I'm happier than I was when I found out Kevin Federline was getting custody of his kids. Ah, he is such a good Dad. I hope he and Brittany can put away their problems for one day though, because they're both invited to the wedding, and I don't want a huge scene. I just won't sit them near each other. I'll put her next to George Bush. That should be safe."

She squeals.

* * *

Three days. Three whole days and Ryan had not been able to tell Kelly the truth. The fire in her eyes was so intense, and she held his body so close to hers when they slept at night, that he just couldn't bring himself to smash her dream. So, as of right now, he was in an engaged man.

Kelly didn't even really have any questions for him about why it happened so suddenly, or why they're hadn't been a ring. As far as she was concerned Ryan had done his only part, and it was now time for her to take over. Thank god she had taken that file cabinet home from the office action a couple years back and started stockpiling it with all the wedding information she could find, or she would be totally lost now.

On the third morning, when he woke up to her humming the wedding march while she showered, he took a deep gulp and decided that today was the day he had to tell that it was a mistake. Then they could both corner Dwight and throttle him together. She would be crushed, but he would assure he that he loved her, and that one-day (some far, far off day) they might get engaged for real. That would satisfy her. It had too. He was not ready to take care of a wife.

Thinking of Dwight made Ryan almost incensed. He would have likely killed him (or at least kicked him in the shin really hard) but Dwight had become Kelly's shadow, and had offered his assistance in planning the weeding, so he was currently never in a place she was not. He had even taken a sea in the back cubicle with so that he would be able to jot down any spur of the moment wedding plans she might have during the day. Kelly thought it weird, but also kind of awesome.

She entered the room all wet, fresh, and shiny, wrapped in purple robe. She suddenly had the weirdest feeling déjà vu. Before she could tell him something ironic, or at lest she felt it ironic, if the word meant what she thought it did, he started to talk.

"Kelly we really need to talk about this engagement." The look in his eyes was serious, and a little sad. Instantly, Kelly knew exactly what he was going to say.

"It's okay, you don't have to say it Ryan…I know" She sat down next him, lay her wet head on his bare shoulder taking his hand.

"You do?" He asked, wondering if she really did. This was going to go smoother than he thought.

"Yeah. I mean, you think I'm mad about their being no ring. I'm not totally stupid, I've saw the way you've been puttering around the last few days, and I want you to know it's alright. I mean, a super awesome rock would have been neat, but we can worry about that later." She pulled herself closer, and Ryan went ahead and pulled her into his lap. She laughed and nuzzled his neck. "I love you Ryan. I've got the perfect man, and he wants to marry me, and I don't need a silly diamond…right now. I've got more than I deserve already"

"Don't say that." He said quietly, all his nerve now shattered. So much for ending it _now_. Day three of engagement was on like Donkey Kong.

"It's true Ryan. I get to marry the man I love. I get to be _**Mrs. Ryan Howard**_. I get to have the most beautiful babies ever, I…I've never been this happy. Ever. "

He tightened arms around her. She kissed the hard of his jaw line and he turned her face so that their lips caught. She shifted out of his lap and lay on the bed. He wasted no time in climbing on top of her. She ran her cool hands up his back, and he ceased to think about anything except kissing her all the way down. He was working his way down her shoulder when she pulled his face back up to hers. She planted a long, slow kiss on his lips lifted herself to follow a line down his neck and back up to his ear.

"Tell me you love me" She begged in his ear, her voice shaking with the innocence it always did right before they got intimate.

Breathing hard, he kissed her again "You know how I feel" He tried, and started undoing her robe with one hand. She moved hers to stop him though, only for minute.

"I know, but I need to hear it. I need to be sure this isn't really a mirage or something. I need to know you really love me, and that you really asked me to marry you. I'm scared I just dreamed it all, and that I'm so happy, I can't wake up." She looked up at him, vulnerable, and needy. Her eyes pleading for his reassurance.

It was something he loved and hated about her. He thought she had ridded herself of it during her independence streak a month ago, but he had learned that this was who Kelly was. Bubbly and confident on the outside, but delicate and insecure inside.

How would he ever be able to break such a heart? A few months ago, before he realized he was just as crazy in love with Kelly as she was just plain crazy, breaking her had been so easy. He had done it with less than a sentence. Now, he couldn't dare even tell her he was not ready for marriage.

"It's not a dream, Kel. I love you." In her excitement, he managed to get one side of her robe slid down, and ran his lips over her collarbone slowly.

"And you…you want to marry me? For real?" She managed to breathe heavily.

He closed his eyes, and let his head hang limp over hers for minute. She got scared and clutched him close worriedly.

He could do it now. He could be a man and admit everything, and beg for forgiveness. She might even cry for less than five hours. But when he opened his eyes, and looked back into her dark ones, all he could do was whisper "For real" before pulling her robe the rest of the way off, and making love to her on top of the covers.

* * *

//Individual shot Angela//

"The proposal? Yes, it was very nice. The decorations were top notch….what? Cheesy and overly romantic? I don't think so at all. I planned- I mean, Ryan planned everything perfectly."

She sits rigid for a moment, and a muffled question from a cameraman man is asked.

"Mr. Schrute and I helped because ewe were the obvious choices. He is the most trustworthy man in the office…not that I know him too well….and I am the head of the party planning committee. Ryan knew whom to come to when he needed something done. The whole scene beforehand was a total ruse. A distasteful, but necessary ruse."

She coughs uncomfortably.

"He has impeccable taste. In decorating I mean, not in women. I for one do not believe in interracial dating. Though to each his own I suppose…his own mistake of course."

* * *

"Why…oh why, must you always confide the inner dimensions of your life to me? I know Michael would pay to be your go-to guy" Jim whined.

They were out on a sales call together, and needing someone to unleash his burden on, he had spilled the whole truth to Jim. He knew Jim could be trusted. They weren't exactly friends, but he was one of the only people that Ryan felt really understood him and Kelly. His real friends (the few he had) didn't get the relationship at all. They had always thought Kelly was nuisance Ryan just kept around for sex (which had been true for a while.) They would never understand the dilemma he was now in.

"Yeah. I'm really going to tell Michael things. That would only confuse him. He would take it as affection, and the next thing I know, I would be forced to sign a promissory note to be buried in between him and Jan one day."

"Don't worry about that. Dwight's already convinced him to have his body frozen for science, so you're cool."

"What am I going to do Jim?" He said slumping, and looking off and out the window. "She's already told her parents, she told my parents. Plans are being made, things are getting picked out. She's got her heart set on being Mrs. Howard. What in the hell am I going to do?"

Jim just shook his head. Truth was, this was quite the pickle. When Ryan first explained it to him, he was speechless. Dwight was an evil genius. All this time Jim had thought he himself was the King of Pranks. But, nope. This was the ultimate revenge. The hoax that kept on giving. For the rest of your life.

"I guess 'the truth will set you free' is not the advice you want, huh?"

"Not exactly. But, I understand you not being able to think of anything else. I'm just screwed here. It's either marry her, or lose her."

"Which would you rather do?" Jim asked earnestly.

Ryan seriously contemplated for a moment. He loved Kelly. He really, really did. Superficial neediness, childish coddling, extreme clinging and all. She was flawed, but hell so was he. It was something he had finally figured out. She was slightly unglued, and he was an asshole. Everybody has his or her drawbacks. She was more real about herself than any girl he'd ever met though. She was who she was, and she made no apologies. Plus, he knew no one else would ever love him the way she did. Purely, honestly, and completely.

But, and this is a humungous but. He was not ready to get married. To pledge the rest of his life to someone, at twenty-seven years old? I mean, that might seem old to some, but in his life plan, he hadn't even thought about settling down until he was at least thirty-three or so. It just seemed like he wouldn't have done enough living until then. He understood it was different for women. Most of them felt like a failure if by twenty-four they weren't married with at least one kid. Kelly was twenty-six, and as far as she was concerned, far past her prime.

"I don't want to lose her. I mean, that would be so crazy, after what we went through. I won't let Dwight end our relationship."

"You know, maybe you should just tell her the absolute truth. Then maybe she'd just be mad at Dwight and make him miserable."

"I thought of that like a hundred times, but it won't work. The freak really thought this out I guess. If I tell her the truth, I don't think she'll end things with me, but it's put the marriage seed in her head, and she'll wonder why we don't just get married anyway, and I'll have to tell her I'm not ready, and then even if we stay together things aren't going to be the same."

"Man. He sunk you."

"Thanks."

"You'll think of something…and if I not, I'll be your best man. Unless you want Dwight to, since he already helped with the proposal and all"

Ryan sent a heavy glare his way, before stating darkly,

"Our families are eating together tonight. My Mom suggested it, but it's going to be at Kelly's parents house. They're not to sold on it, and I guess they felt like if it was happening, it's happening on their terms."

"Mr. and Mrs. Kapoor." Jim stated lightly "What're they like?"

"Let's see, they would rather see me killed viciously by bears than marry Kelly."

"It can't be that bad."

"They make Angela look like Miss Congeniality."

"Woah"

"Yeah. They think I'm like, scum. And before you smirk, they don't even really hate me for things that make me bad.. It's not the way I treated Kelly. They hate me because I'm not a lawyer, or an astronaut. They hate me because I'm not six foot eight and two hundred pounds of fine Indian breeding. And they especially hate me because they didn't pick me out."

"Ah. Arranged marriage. Nothing more beautiful than being signed off to a complete and total stranger."

"Tonight, is going to suck. It's going to be hell, and then I'm going to be incarcerated because I'm going to hunt down Dwight and kill him with his own spud gun. Or his light saber, or even his shoe. Whatever I get my hands on first."

Jim laughed.

Then they sat in silence for a while, even though they had reached their destination.

"So. You gonna' to do it?" Jim finally sighed.

"I think I have to. " Ryan muttered.

They turned the car off, and Jim hopped out. Ryan just hung back for minute, still trying to believe this was really happening

* * *

**F/N:** Don't worry, Ryan won't be indifferent foerever, I promise!


	3. Paging Dr Perfect

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Office, and I am in no way affiliated with NBC. I also don't own Ryan, Kelly, any other character. EXCEPT for Dr. Yavar. He's mine 3

**Summary: **Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn't ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Now it's meddling sisters, co-workers, and mother-in-laws-to-be. And who in the Hell is Dr. McPerfectIndian, and who does he think he is? So begins the most awful period of Ryan's life; but at times the most awesome.

**Authors Note**: Okay, I can't remember if they gave Kelly or Ryan's parent's names, so I did myself. Not too happy with this Chapter, but it's the best I can do. Not much humor, if any at all. This is just one of those necessary things, in order to introduce a new character. Oh, and the Creed talking head is random..sorry.

**Ready Or Not**

* * *

III. Paging Dr. Perfect

* * *

//Individual shot Creed//

"Marriage. I've done it a couple times. I don't recommend it. My marriages were all so bad, I've mentally blocked out who I was ever married to….I think I might have been married to that drunk red-head for a little while. I hope the kid's not mine."

* * *

The Kapoor's house was just as cold as always, in more ways than one. It was honestly icy in here, even though it was merely fall outside. Kelly's parents were presenting iceberg attitudes as well. They had barely shaken his parents hands. His Mom was trying her hardest, but he could tell she felt so uncomfortable. His Dad was basically just watching the small ancient looking clock, trying to decipher how much longer until he could leave. He didn't blame him, Vedula and Ravi Kapoor's house was not a friendly place.

"You have a lovely home. It's so…exotic." Vivian Howard smiled.

"It's not exotic to us." Kelly's mother said, through lips pursed so tight, Ryan wondered how she talked. "India is our home country. Our daughter's home country."

"Mom, I've been there like three times." Kelly said exasperatedly.

"Kelpita, do not take that tone with your Mother." Her father said, marking the first time he had spoke at all.

"Yes sir" She said head bowed, and Ryan instantly saw where her tendency to submit came from. He locked his hand with hers, intertwining their fingers.

Vedula looked like she was trying to swallow a squid, and that she was close to spouting fire from her eyes.

"Mrs. Howard, I must ask. What do you think of this engagement?"

"Mom.." Kelly began again, but was quickly quieted by a swift movement from her father, and Ryan secretly wondered if he had ever hit Kelly before. He may be jumping to conclusions, but he was pretty sure his dislike for Mr. Kapoor was well warranted. He squeezed her hand tightly, to let her know he was there, and she looked at him her eyes apologetic.

"I think it's marvelous" His Mom bubbled, "I love Kelly. You've raised such a beautiful daughter. My son has never been this taken with a girl before. It's good to see him settle down with someone he loves."

Ryan didn't know what was worse. Kelly's mom hating the idea so much, or his mom loving it.

"If I may be so bold Mrs. Howard-"

"Please, call me Viv, everyone does. No need for formalities, we're going to be family"

This produced another squid swallowing look from Vedula. She just ignored the suggestion, and picked up where she left off.

" I do not think your son is right for my daughter at all. She needs someone ready to settle down. Someone older. Someone who knows how to take care of a woman. Your son has not even acquired a real job."

"He had a real job, he quit it because of her." Timothy Howard finally added something to the conversation.

"Tim" Vivian glared at him, then turned her attention back to Kelly's mother "Excuse me for saying so, but I don't think any of that matters. They love each other. Love is always enough.

"A nice sentiment, but really an idealistic one. Our Kelpita does not know what she wants. She has become too invested in shallow things. She is not able to make big decisions for herself. She replaces fantasies with what should hold logic." Mr. Kapoor stated darkly.

And suddenly, Ryan saw an out. Maybe Kelly's parents could convince her that she wasn't ready to marry him. Then the blame wouldn't be on him at all. He'd get to keep her as his girlfriend, and not have to worry about vows, and all that other scary commitment stuff. It was perfect. He looked over at Kelly, her head still bowed deeply. He felt bad for her, but he was about to get bought out of a bad situation here, so he would just have to deal with it later.

"Well, your daughter is twenty-six, I think she can make decisions by herself" Ryan was surprised to hear his Dad say. He had always been given the impression that his father didn't care for Kelly. She was always trying to chatter to him, and Mr. Howard would…well approach it much the way Ryan once had. Tuning her out completely.

Great. Be on board with the relationship now, when he was desperately grasping for someone to put a pin in this wedding.

"I'm afraid I must disagree. Kelpita has always been our most…spirited daughter. She needs the most guidance. We've tried to give her room to grow, hoping good choices would follow, but it has been a loss. Now, we must put our foots down." Ravi continued.

"This wedding will not happen." His wife affirmed in a hard tone.

Fireworks erupted in Ryan's head, and he had to hold in a large smile. Take that Dwight. Creepy moron. He'd not counted on the roadblock of Kelly's parents.

"Dad…I looove him. I am going to marry him, whether you say or not."

"Kelpita, have we not been good to you? Provided for you? What would Vishnu say to such ill respect? Do you think this is fair to poor Narsimha? What about him?"

Ryan was officially lost, but he usually was when Kelly and her parents talked about the Hindu religions. He didn't know what kind of deities Narsimha and Vishnu were, and doubted even Kelly did.

"Not this again" She said flopping back.

"Who is Narsimha?" Vivian asked. Ryan gaped at her, thinking she probably just seriously offended one of their major Gods. He had temporarily forgotten his mother was a high school History teacher, and knew loads about all religions.

" Dr. Narsimha Yavar is a neurosurgeon at Mercy Hospital. He is the son of one of my oldest boyhood friends. A treasured family acquaintance. He is the only heir to his father's estate, and is a favorite to be Chief of Surgery when the current steps down in a few months." Kelly's father said, smiling for the first time all night.

Vedula, beaming as well, quickly added,

"And, our Kelpita's hand has been promised to him since her birth."

Ryan spit his last drink of spiced water everywhere. Kelly immediately started explaining to him.

"I am so not promised to anyone Ryan. They can't tell me what to do. I said yes to you. I would never, ever marry Sim, he's totally old."

"Narsimha is just newly turned thirty-one Kelpita, barely five years you're senior. Less equal matches are made every single day" Her mother protested.

"Maybe we should go" Vivian suggested, now desperate to get out of here. She had tried being polite, but it was obvious there was no reasoning with these people. Retreating was the best thing.

"Thank you for coming. I am sorry things could not work out better" Kelly's mother said, in a voice that didn't sound an apology at all.

Vivian quickly pulled Kelly into a crushing embrace before leaving, and Kelly whispered an apology into her ear. Tim, always a man of little words, just nodded and looked relived the night had ended abruptly.

Ryan just started pacing as Kelly's parents lead his to the door. The feeling in the pit of his stomach was something he couldn't describe. It was all tight, and contracting. Like he'd spontaneously sprouted an ulcer.

"Are you mad?" Kelly asked, coming up behind, laying her head on his back.

"Hmm...Let me see, I just figured out that my girlfriend is promised to Dr. Perfect, and that I'm not anywhere near the realm of being good enough for her. Yeah, I feel sweet right about now." Ryan scoffed cynically.

"I'm so, so sorry. They're crazy baby, you know that. "

Ryan sighed, and tried to sort this out. He had thought her parent's objections were perfect, but now that had bitten him in the butt. Their objections weren't to Kelly getting married; they were strictly to her marrying _him._ And, they even had a Plan B for her, great!

He felt her arms lock around his waist, and felt her pressing tightly to his back.

"Don't be mad at me Ryan. They can't make me marry him. I want to marry you. "

"I'm not mad at you, not exactly. I just wish you'd told me about this. I sort of think it's something I should have been aware of."

She sidesteps in front of him, laying a hand on his face.

"Why? It doesn't mean anything. Why would I tell you about it? I'm not marrying him okay? I don't even like him like that, at all."

"I know. It's just hard to hear you know."

Kelly's apologetic eyes quickly turned sparkly, and her frown into a sly grin. She pinched his cheek with the hand that had been holding his face.

"You are jealous! Ryan, jealousy is totally adorable on you! I love it."

"I'm not jealous...just surprised….and a little pissed. " Ryan protested, moving her hand and rubbing his jaw.

"You're sooo jealous. It's all over your face. It's so cute. I wish I had my camera, this is so worthy of a Polaroid."

She began tickling him, and he squirmed, and finally lightened up a little, holding her in a submissive embrace, pushing her hair back.

"Please. I'm not jealous. Like I'm worried about some wacky doctor, who probably looks like something a cat puked up."

"Well, I may not be the sexist man alive, but cat puke? That sounds a little harsh." A low mellow voice said.

Ryan turned to find that Kelly's parent's had returned to the room, but they were not alone. Beside them stood a tall, gentle looking man. His dark skin was pale by no means, but didn't quite match Kelly's. His hair was rich and black, with a slight curl, and hung in front of bright green eyes. His smile was of course large and white.

"Sim?!" Kelly said, and Ryan immediately detested her breathy tone.

Dr. Narsimha Yavar, unfortunately, looked nothing like cat puke.

* * *

//Individual shot Ryan, eyes huge//

"And of course, he had to be like six-two. Perfect. Just perfect."

He rolls his eyes.

" I hope he kills someone and gets fired. That would make my week…..oh god. I sound like Dwight."


	4. GI Joe Doesn't Have Laser Beams

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Office, and I am in no way affiliated with NBC. I also don't own Ryan, Kelly, any other character. EXCEPT for Dr. Yavar. He's mine 3

**Summary: **Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn't ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Now it's meddling sisters, co-workers, and mother-in-laws-to-be. And who in the Hell is Dr. McPerfectIndian, and who does he think he is? So begins the most awful period of Ryan's life; but at times the most awesome.

**Authors Note**: Thanks for so many good reviews so far! I guess the good Doctor was a welcome surprise. A couple ways I could go, still hammering over some details. Hope you continue to read and enjoy!

Oh, and after watching Ryan break Michael's heart last night, I almost killed him off in this story XD Just kidding, but it really would have made me feel better.

**Ready Or Not**

* * *

_III. G.I Joe Doesn't Have Laser Beams_

* * *

//Individual shot, Michael//

"I refuse to believe there is a guy more studly than Ryan. I mean, come on…the guy is easily a ten. The hard jaw, the perfect hair, nice complexion, wiry muscles. Whew. He's the total package. Kelly is so lucky to have him. I bet a doctorate couldn't buy you those baby blues, now could they? No. They can't. Because doctorates, well, they're just for showing off."

* * *

//Individual shot, Meredith//

"Dr. Yavar? I got a glimpse of that fine chunk of man meat when I was having my hysterectomy a couple years ago. Nothing like catching sight of that masterpiece to make you feel like woman again. I actually got his number…well I came across his number….after searching the nurse's Rolodex when she walked away. I haven't pulled the trigger on anything yet. I'm waiting for a rainy day. And ladies night at The Dizzy Monkey."

* * *

"How does everyone know about this?!" Ryan grunted, clearly frustrated.

Kevin had just walked by him snickering something that sounded distinctly like "the surgeon versus the temp". Had Ryan even felt like he should dignify that statement, he would have reminded Kevin that not only was he a sales representative now, not a temp, but also that he had once been corporate manager. For like, three and half weeks.

Jim gave a classic grin and looked up from his keyboard.

"Well, I know because you told me this morning. And Pam knows, because I told her. I have no idea how anyone else know…wait, yeah I do. Kelly told them all. Like four times."

Of course she had. Kelly had been more than excited to tell everyone how red Ryan's face had gotten as soon as he took one look at Dr. Yavar, or as she so lovingly called him, Sim. She had of course added how Ryan tried standing his tiptoes when talking to him, and had brought up his MBA like five times, in two sentences. Oh, and that he actually called her his fiancée!

"That's nice. She's such a lovely, understanding girl." Ryan griped.

Jim laughed good-naturedly

"Come on. She's just stoked that you're jealous of her. All girls love that stuff."

"You weren't there last night Jim. I'm not jealous, it's just…you would just had to have been there. " He complains, internally glad that Dwight's out on sales calls for the time being.

"First of all, her parents sit there and rip me a new in front of my Mom and Dad. Then, they talk about how great this doctor guy is, and drop the pleasant announcement that he and Kelly are like destined to be married one day or something. It was insane."

"Well, what exactly did Kelly say?"

"She swore that she'd never liked the guy, and that her parents couldn't force her to marry him and all that. So I was okay, for like two minutes, and then out of some huge coincidence, he just happens to stop by to bring Kelly's folks an early anniversary present. And of course, I was expecting some nerdy Hobbit, and what I get is-"

"Indian version of Brad Pitt?" Jim finished "Yeah. I got the low down on exactly how he looked when I asked Kelly for some Post-It's early."

Ryan smacked at loose stack of papers.

"The worst part was that he acted all friendly, like he's not some type of pompous jerk. All doctors are pompous jerks."

"A lot of MBA's are pompous jerks too" Jim quipped.

Ryan just ignored the joke and kept on complaining

"And you should have saw Kelly once he got there. She got all nervous, and breathy. Then she laughed at everything he said, and he never once attempted to be funny. It was pathetic. She swears I'm making it up, but I have eyes."

* * *

Kelly perched by the bathroom waiting for Ryan. He always takes bathroom break at 10:34. He'll be done by 10:40, and they'll make-out in the supply closet until about 10:57. It's the most productive part of her day.

Like clockwork, he walked into the hallway at exactly 10:33, but he doesn't go straight for the bathroom.

"What in the hell Kelly, why is everyone talking about that idiot surgeon like he's some sort of Greek god? Oh, and just for your information, I did not bring up my perfect SAT scores...more than once."

She just giggled, and mussed his hair.

"You are so cute…they should make you into a stuffed animal"

He groaned. He couldn't believe this. Kelly was acting like…well herself. She was exhibiting all those qualities that had once made him want to run like hell, and join a monastery in the Swiss Alps if he had to. She was wearing her pink flamingo dress and matching hot pink pumps. Her nails were shining with a bright neon shade ("MakeHimYours Magenta #10") She was grinning at him all goofy, and misty at the same time. Pinching his cheek harder than his Aunt Flora ever had. He couldn't believe it all. Couldn't believe that it was right now, at this moment he decided that marrying Kelly, wasn't such a bad idea.

"So…should Sim be a stuffed animal too?" He asked, fingering her hair innocently.

"No way." She said without even having to think.

Ryan started nuzzling her neck, and she added through happy laughter "He would totally be like a G.I Joe."

Ryan's blank stare hit the camera dead on.

Two seconds later she is chasing him back into the main office.

"Why are you taking this so personally?"

"Excuse me..how can I not take it personally? I ask you to _marry_ me, and you throw yourself at Dr. Abu."

Michael snickers as he exits his office. The rest of the office is dead silent.

Kelly looks half the percent of angry that a normal person would be after such a cultural offense.

"If we're going to bring up vital statistics such as ethnicity, maybe we should factor height into the mix too. Oh, and how about salary?" She snaps.

"BURN!" Michael shouts, clearly the person in the office most invested in the fight.

Ryan looks slightly embarrassed, but angrier.

"Unbelievable." He finally sighs going over to the coat rack.

Kelly looks like she regrets her choice of words.

"Ryan, I'm sorry. You're a GI Joe too, I promise. The Special Edition, with the laser beams and stuff."

"G.I Joe had no laser beams" Dwight scoffs, and Michael throws a folder at him.

"Dwight, you're not a part of the show here…so shuuuut it."

Ryan just grabbed for his jacket.

"I don't get you Kelly. I really don't. I do everything you want, just the way you want it, but it's still not good enough. You know…fine. I guess your parents are right, I'm just not good enough. "

"Ryan…don't" She says through bated breath.

"_Don't_ what… I think you already _did_" He said, "I've got to get some air. Back in five Michael"

"Sure thing bro. You take a couple fives. Minutes of course. I can't help you out with the salary thing. Michael Scott ain't no charity organization"

Ryan pushed out the door, and Kelly started to go after him, but was stopped surprisingly by Jim.

"Just let him blow off some steam Kel. You go out there now…it's not going to end good."

Kelly bit her lip anxiously.

Pam smiled at her sympathetically.

"He's just jealous and acting out, he'll get over it."

"I hope so" Kelly said, looking worried. Then seemed to brighten a bit, and in barely a bet smiled at Pam

"Hey, you want to be a brides maid at my wedding?"

* * *

//Individual shot Kevin//

"Kelly and Ryan better work this out. I bet Oscar a lot of money that this wedding was going to happen, and if doesn't I'm going to be so screwed. I owe some pretty scary people considerable amounts of money. Let's just say that if this wedding doesn't go through…then I'm officially Melvin Kalone. That's my alias. You guys might want to start calling me that…just to be safe."

* * *

// Individual shot Kelly//

"Sim is like….wow. He was totally always just averagely good looking when we were younger, but now, he's just like reached an all-new peak. Don't get me wrong, I'm sooooo committed to Ryan, but it was just weird to see them in the same room. I mean, Sim was my _first_…...oh gosh. Did I just say that?…Out loud? You have totally got to edit that…if Ryan sees that, he'll totally break the engagement…if he hasn't all ready….or worse, buy me a cheap diamond."


	5. Surgeon Versus The Temp

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Office, and I am in no way affiliated with NBC. I also don't own Ryan, Kelly, any other character. EXCEPT for Dr. Yavar. He's mine 3

**Summary: **Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn't ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Now it's meddling sisters, co-workers, and mother-in-laws-to-be. And who in the Hell is Dr. McPerfectIndian, and who does he think he is? So begins the most awful period of Ryan's life; but at times the most awesome.

**Authors Note**: This one's a doozy! Sorry, no comical talking heads this Chapter. This one's just dramatic and all confrontational. You probably get that from the title! Hope you enjoy!

THANK YOU sooooo much for all the reviews. They make me happy to write. Glad you all like the story thus far.

Oh, and **Ms.Office**, I still have the faith, but I'll admit it's dwindling. I need some Kelly/Ryan action soooon. Maybe he'll show real jealousy if they let her little implied thing with Darryl progress XD!

**Ready Or Not**

* * *

_III. Surgeon Versus The Temp_

* * *

Ryan didn't go back into Dunder Mifflin in five minutes. In fact, he didn't even think about going back. He just got into his car, and drove.

This was not Ryan Howard. Ryan Howard did not get jealous. He had no reason to get jealous, or be insecure. He was a great catch. He had been in the top ten of his high school class (okay…so it was eleven, but it was competitive school!) He'd been pretty popular in college. He'd even played lacrosse when he was there for a little while. Academic and athletic.

He'd always envisioned himself meeting a fiery red-headed attorney, or some other type of go getter, and after a couple years of living together, building up a huge cash flow from her successful law practice and his booming wall street business, they'd buy a huge house, retire early, and marry when he was around the thirty-four, thirty-five range. Set for life.

Instead, he was engaged to a chatterbox who only hears what she wants to, whose fabulous career is basically telling people the same tired apology all day. Plus, he was about to inherit a full crowd of in-laws who would love to have him, as the family dog that is. He was looking forward to a life of cold family dinners, celebrity news every hour on the hour, mortgage payments on a garishly decorated home he hated and couldn't afford, and an eventual barrage of baby carriages. The presence of Narsimha Yavar on the scene could erase all that for Ryan. This threat _had_ to be eliminated.

Sure, Kelly could be a perky pain the ass, but she was his perky pain in the ass.

He wasn't mad at Kelly for all the things that had happened back at the office. Not really. He understood that it had just been her being her. He'd stuck with her this long. He'd learned to take the good with the mildly insane. The reason he'd let it get to him was that, even though this was just harmless and cute to Kelly, he could see it posed a real threat. Parents have more influence over you than anyone in your life. You almost never escape that hold. He had this nervous feeling in his gut that if they wanted, they could make Kelly marry this guy they'd picked.

On a weekday afternoon, the atrium of the Mercy Hospital wasn't really bustling. A few people sat on the stiff floral printed cushions of the waiting room couch, and an elderly lady sat behind the reception desk. He sort of laughed. He wondered if this is what Pam would look like in fifty years.

"May I help you?" She said pleasantly enough as he approached the counter.

"Uhm, I hope. I need to see a surgeon"

She smiled warmly "We have over twenty-two surgeons. A little more specific dear?"

"He's a brain surgeon?"

"Only two neurosurgeons here, Chief Doyle and Head Attending, Dr. Yavar"

"Yavar. That's the guy I'm looking for."

She scanned her schedule.

"He scrubbed in about an hour and a half ago. Pre-cancerous tumor removal. He should be finishing up in fifteen or so. He's office is on the third floor. Daisy, his receptionist, she'll probably let you in to wait in his office. She's a sweet girl"

Ryan found that not only was Daisy a sweet girl, but a very attractive girl. She had thick blonde hair, icy blue eyes, and huge white teeth. For a moment he lightened up. No way this guy looked at that face everyday and didn't have something going on with her.

" He's free as soon as he scrubs out, you can just wait in there if you want" She said sweetly in what he thought was a Southern accent.

On her desk, he quickly noted a picture of her with Yavar at what looked like a hospital social event.

"If you don't mind me asking…how long have you and the doctor been seeing each other?"

She looked puzzled for a moment, and then her eyes went to the picture.

"Oh! That. No, we're just good friends. Dating him is out of the question. In fact, Sim, I mean Dr. Yavar is good friends with all his colleagues. He's a real sweetheart. But I don't have to tell you that, you said you two were old friends."

"Yeah, old friends" He said distractedly "Uh, why would dating Dr. Yavar, I mean Sim, be off limits or whatever? He's not married. Last I heard, he was single."

"Are you sure you know him well? Dr. Yavar isn't married, yet. But, he's Hindu, and his parents are really old fashioned. They believe in arranged marriage, and he's been 'betrothed' to someone since he was like five" She said, and Ryan picked up the fact that betrothed was Yavar's word, not her own.

"Oh." He said simply, and felt that tight contraction in his stomach again. "Have you met her?"

"No. Everyone at the hospital is dying to though. From what I understand, she's a bit indifferent. I mean, I understand being weirded out by the whole thing. I wouldn't want my Momma picking out my husband either. But, in this case she couldn't find a better catch, I can tell her that."

"Maybe she could," He muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"I said 'maybe I should', you know, 'maybe I should' wait in his office for him."

As trusting as she appeared she would be, she just smiled and waved him in.

Ryan snarled at how ritzy the office looked. At this small hospital he had been hoping for less grandeur. No such luck. It was even better than his old office at corporate. He hated this guy more by the second.

He walked around the desk, behind the super-size e-z chair, to scan his pictures. Only two sat on his desk. One was a snapshot after what Ryan assumed was his med-school graduation with people he guessed were his parents. The other was an older shot of him hiking with friends. Ryan breathed an easy sigh.

The door creaked, and in less than moment, he was face to face with the man in the picture he'd just been staring at. Granted, over ten years had likely passed, but not much had changed about the face. It was still bright, and youthful. Ryan half expected Yavar to hit him, or at least show signs of anger. He was wrong. The doctor just smiled easily and extended his hand.

"Good to see you again Ryan" Ryan took his hand a bit warily, and hated to note what a good and sturdy handshake he had. What he wouldn't have given for a limp fish. Couldn't he catch some sort of break here?

"I'm flattered" He continued to smile largely, heading for his chair, and Ryan went back around to the other side of the desk. "We only just met last night, and from what my receptionist told me, you already consider me an old friend"

Ryan tried to sound casual "Sorry about that, just wanted to you know, talk with you...about things."

"About Pita?" He smiled knowingly. Ryan grimaced at the nickname. He'd learned it the night before, when they'd all been awkwardly stuck together for about ten minutes, before Ryan had thought to fake heartburn, and they'd left. "You'll excuse me if I sit. I've been on my feet for almost two hours now."

Ryan just nodded. He took the seat in front of the desk. He inwardly hated this position. Being made feel even smaller. The runt in front to of the large desk, with the larger than life Dr. Perfect sitting behind it.

" You know Kelly and I are getting married, right?"

"Yes. You mentioned it a couple times last night. I saw no ring, but I assumed you were not lying, or she would have called you out on it." He laughed

"Yeah, well the ring's coming later. I wanted to be sure she'd say yes first…which she did." Ryan reminded him darkly.

The men sat in silence for a while. Ryan had no idea how to continue.

"I bet Kelly has changed since you knew her"

"On the contrary, she seemed just as fresh and bubbly as ever last night. Runs on one hundred percent energy power, that one. A real shot of life."

"Yeah, but I bet she hasn't always been as obsessed with celebrities, and the color pink, and romantic comedies as she is right now. I'm sure when she was younger, she was more mellow."

"Nope" Sim smiled "The Kelpita you're describing is the one I've always known. In fact, I was surprised by her maturity last night. She really is growing up."

Ryan couldn't hold back a grimace. When he had first came to the office, and noticed Kelly, she had seemed every bit the mellow adult. She had worn drab clothing, been very reverent, and even showed some sanity for slapping Michael on Diversity Day. He was glad she had at least seemed that way, or he would have never opted to date her. He would have missed out on something really special if she had played the slightly-crazy-but-still-loveable-and-cute card right off. The girl knew how to play her hand.

"There was one time in her life where she was, a bit less exuberant than now" Sim nodded solemnly "When her older sister, Dainka was killed, Kelly went into mourning. That is expected though, the two were very close. Only one year separated them."

He tried not to act surprised by this. He knew Kelly's sister had died. They been together long enough for her to reveal that to him. She never ever lingered on the subject any longer than a second though. He had no idea when or how she died. To tell the truth, he'd never really given it much thought. Considering he loved this woman, that was pretty low. He wasn't going to let that on to Sim though, so he just nodded.

"Her mother tells me almost every year around that time she sort of falls back into grief for a while" The doctor continued, and Ryan continued to grow in dislike for his knowledge of Kelly and her family. "I'm sure you know that though, you've been with Pita…how long, close to two years now?"

"Yeah. Something like that." Ryan said off-handedly "Kelly never has time to feel grief with me though. I don't let her."

A small smile spread over Sim's face "This is not what I've heard."

And in that second, Ryan understood. This guy knew everything there was to know about his relationship with Kelly. He knew that at first it had not been serious. He knew that Ryan had treated Kelly like a little girl with an out of her league crush. He probably even knew about him throwing her out of his apartment in New York a couple months back. Sim's whole life was invested in this thing with Kelly culminating in a marriage.

Suddenly Ryan stood up. He had tried to act mature, and counter Sim's ease with his own calmness, but he was losing ground here, and he had to get his point across.

"Stay away from Kelly." He said, his voice a little louder than he'd hoped. He reeled in the volume before talking again. "She's with me. She's marrying me. Don't try to come between us."

Sim stood to, but not in the aggressive forceful way that Ryan had. When he spoke, his voice was not raised even a note from before.

"Ryan, please calm down. I do not plan to _try_ and come between you and Pita in anyway."

Ryan didn't believe him for a second. This guy was married to the idea of marrying Kelly. And, he was over thirty. He had to make his move quick. How was Ryan supposed to trust him?

"I don't buy that. You're going to try something. But you know what, go ahead. It won't work. Kelly loves me. Yeah she loves me, and there isn't a damn thing you can do to change that."

"I'm not going to pull any kind of stunt, I promise."

Ryan stood uneasily for a moment, trying to grasp this.

"So you're not going to do anything?"

"No, not a thing" Sim said congenially.

Ryan rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"Well then, I'm sorry for coming here and exploding, or semi-exploding. It's just, you know, I thought you may be under the assumption you were going to end up with Kelly, and I had to stop that."

"Oh, I will end up with Pita" The doctor said, never once faltering in easy assuredness.

And here was the crappy pea-colored lining.

"But you just said-"

"What I just said was, I don't plan to pull any stunts to keep you two apart, which I don't. I don't have to."

"So you think Kelly's just going to 'wise up' and run to you, or something?"

"It may happen that way, or it may happen in another, but it's going to happen. Kelpita and I are meant to be. We are bound together by something more than silly cinematic romanticism."

Ryan scoffed.

"Bound by what, a barbaric tradition of being forced to obey your pants every crazy whim? Excuse me if I think love holds a little stronger bond than that."

For the first time, Yavar looked a bit affronted, but only let it enter his eyes.

"I'm sorry that my religious beliefs are not your own Mr. Howard, but they are important to me, and were once important to Kelpita. This is more than just simple family politics. Our _jathakam _has thirty-six points of astrological match. It's literally written in the stars. I needn't do anything, but wait for her eventual acceptance."

He shook his head, not accepting a word for truth.

"You are so off Kelly's radar that she never even mentioned you to me. We'll get married, and in a year she won't even remember your name."

"I find that hard to believe" Yavar smiled. His stance softened now. He once again had the upper hand. Ryan never saw the next blow coming. "I've heard a girl never forgets her _first_."

Ryan thought seriously about knocking stuff over. He thought seriously about breaking those framed degrees, awards, and plaques. He thought seriously about hitting him.

Then, after seething, and thinking seriously about all of this, he just turned sharply, and walked out the door.


	6. Elevated Epiphany

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Office, and I am in no way affiliated with NBC. I also don't own Ryan, Kelly, any other character. EXCEPT for Dr. Yavar. He's mine 3

**Summary: **Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn't ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Now it's meddling sisters, co-workers, and mother-in-laws-to-be. And who in the Hell is Dr. McPerfectIndian, and who does he think he is? So begins the most awful period of Ryan's life; but at times the most awesome.

**Authors Note**: Not too happy with this one, tried to sneak a little humor in there, though with me that's not very possible. You haven't seen the last of Sim; so don't get a false sense of security. Oh, and don't forget that Ryan has another little problem, that is promising to rear it's head XD

Enjoy guys, and thanks for the many reviews. Keep them coming, they make me smile!

**F/N** : I just realized I've been forgetting to change the roman numerals, so the last three chapters have all said III. Sorry about that XD

**Ready Or Not**

* * *

_VI. Elevated Epiphany_

* * *

//Individual shot Jim// 

"I've been thinking, and I feel that everything considered, you guys should really give some thought to making this into a soap opera instead of a documentary. Especially after Kelly and Ryan's most recent fight. I'm not saying I'm immune to melodrama in my own life, but come on. A fight about toys? It was painful to watch. But I watched it like five times, because Michael made us analyze the tapes in the conference room after, but you know that, because he made you guys help too."

* * *

//Individual shot Pam// 

"Did he say to make it into a soap opera?! Copycat! That was sooo my idea. No, I swear, I told him that yesterday at lunch. We laughed about how the funny part was that despite everything that's happened with us, we aren't even the most cheesily dramatic couple. It's Ryan and Kelly!….Hey, want to get another extremely exaggerated useless fight? Because I could go throw some stuff because Jim stole my idea."

* * *

Ryan hated walking into Dunder-Mifflin the next morning. He hated walking back in now even worse than he hated walking back in with Michael the day his boss had proclaimed he'd be the one he wanted have sex with in "Who Would You Do?" God. That was a bad day. 

After confronting Dr. Seemingly Perfect, and having his worst possible fears confirmed, Ryan had not dared go back to Kelly's apartment. For the last month, it had technically been their place, since he'd let his lease lapse and lost his apartment when he moved to New York for a little while. Kelly had let him crash there until he could get a new place, which he hadn't even tried to do yet.

So, despite the fact he was a full-grown, degree toting, working, self-supporting, twenty-six year old man, he had spent the night sleeping on his parents couch. His Mom had turned his room into an indoor garden when he left, and though the bed was still in there, all the ferns creeped him out.

His Mom had been really disappointed in him for not going home, and even more disappointed in the fact that he refused to call Kelly, or pick up his cell phone when she called. In spite of his best efforts to go incognito though, he had walked in on his Mom talking in hushed voice to someone just after dinner. No doubt she had alerted Kelly of his whereabouts. He had expected her to rush over and try to drag him home, but that didn't happen.

As he was mumbling and puttering about getting dressed for work the next morning, his mother took a break from mixing eggs for the omelets to give him some life advice.

* * *

"_Sit down kiddo." She had calmly demanded._

"_Mom, please, no lectures. I am far to old for some mother to son logic. You just don't get this."_

"_Hm. I get that you are acting like an idiot, that is what I get, baby boy."_

_Ryan groaned._

"_Sure, that's beautiful Mom, take the side of a girl you've known barely two months. Take her side over mine, when she is so clearly in the wrong here."_

"_Ryan, I'm not taking sides, because there is no side to take. Baby, you're making a mountain out of a mole hill here."_

"_No, I am not. I'm actually being pretty rational. I have every right to be pissed."_

"_Yes, true, but not pissed at Kelly. She hasn't done anything wrong here, not really."_

"_Okay, what story did you here, because I thought I told you everything.."_

"_The only thing Kelly did that was less than tasteful was to tell everyone in the office about this rich doctor fellow, and you said yourself you weren't even mad at her for that."_

"_I never said he was rich. Maybe he's not rich. Maybe he gambles it all away. Or buys drugs with it. God, it would so rock if he were a drug addict" Ryan rambled on for a minute, before finally regaining his train of thought. "That's beside the point. You're right, I'm over the stupid fight we had in the office, but didn't you hear what I told you Yavar told me? That he and Kelly-"_

"_Yes. I heard that."_

"_Alright, so you see why I'm mad then, right?"_

"_Absolutely not. I mean, did Kelly tell you she was a virgin?_

"_No" He said darkly, not liking how she was spinning this around. "But she never told me she slept with this guy, point is, she never told me about this guy, at all."_

"_Did you give Kelly a roster of all your past partners? Which I hope is a short list, I don't want to have raised a slut."_

_Ryan winced. He hated talking about sex to his Mom. He also winced because that list was probably shorter than his own mother would have even guessed. _

"_No, but that still doesn't make up for the fact that she didn't tell me about this jerk, at all. Doesn't it seem like it would a be little important, something she could have at least said in passing 'Hey, by the way, I can't marry you because I'm promised to this really rich perfect doctor whose taller than you. And oh yeah, he was the fist guy I ever had sex with'"_

"_Honey, don't you see, what you said to this guy was right on the money. Kelly never told you about him because he isn't important tot her, at all. She doesn't want to marry him, and despite the fact he was her first, their intimacy obviously meant nothing as well, or she'd still be with him"_

"_That sounds good in theory Mom, but…it's just a lot to swallow, okay. I mean, this engagement was...rushed" He evaded, not wishing to divulge the actual bring about of the engagement with his mother. _

"_Then I find out Kelly's parents literally hate me, and not just dislike me. Now, I meet this pretty much perfect guy who claims to be destined for her, who wants to marry her too, and he basically tells me that she's claimed territory because he stuck his flag in first...metaphorically I mean."_

_Vivian Howard sighed. She understood her son's concerns. But, she knew that she couldn't let him just give up on this girl. She wanted grandbabies!_

"_The best...well, the only advice I can give you son, that if you want to be the last guy Kelly ever sleeps with, you have to forget about the first." _

* * *

An hour later, with a bacon and cheese omelet on his stomach, and doom and gloom on his mind, he took the elevator upstairs. Seconds before the door was about to close, Ryan heard the clapping of familiar heels, and looked up to see Kelly stopping the doors with a small dark hand. 

She got in quietly, and it remained that way for a moment. His big plan was to just keep up the silent treatment until he figured something else out. He looked upward and hummed to his self. He was deciding whether to key Yavar's Lexus, or his Porsche (both of which Kelly's parents had mentioned the other night) when the shaft came to a thundering halt. Ryan lurched forward, thinking that an earthquake was occurring. That is, until he noticed a well manicured finger pressing the emergency stop button.

"Kelly, are you crazy?! We're between floors, you're going to get us stuck doing that."

She looked pleased with herself.

"That is precisely what I want Ryan. You obviously aren't going to talk tome, so I have to take matters into my own hands."

Ryan started trying to push past her and press random buttons.

"It won't work. This thing is a real piece. I heard the security guard saying that it was so crusty that one good hard stop would jam it. Guess we're stuck here until help comes."

Ryan kept incessantly pushing buttons, ignoring her. To no avail though. Kelly was right. They were lodged in here.

"Damn it" He growled, and jabbed his fist at the wall.

"So, are we going to talk, or are you going to keep bruising your finger?"

He folded his arms sullenly and leaned in a corner, determined not to talk about this.

"Your Mom told me why you're so mad. I'm really sorry you had to hear about it that way."

"Thanks for telling me, very considerate" He said, breaking his vow of silence.

"Ryan, I didn't tell you because it didn't mean anything, nothing."

"Oh come on Kelly, sex always means something to a girl. Sex can only be just sex to guy. To a girl, it's always way more, especially your first. A girl never forgets her first."

"I do remember my first time…it was-"

"Please spare me," He growled

"No…just listen. It was really sweet. _He_ was extremely sweet, for once, but completely eager. He called me beautiful at least five times. He tore my favorite pair of sheer peach panties. It was freezing in his apartment, but I never felt cold once. And after it was over, I looked down at him, and for the first time in twenty-four and half years, I felt like a woman."

Ryan was just quiet. Until she got to the part about the underwear, he was about to explode. Up until then, he had thought she was explaining her time with Sim, but unless he had tore a pair of her panties too, then she was talking about _their_ first time. Sometimes, Kelly could really floor him with how mature she could be, all out of the blue like that. This girl, the one with a serious Betty Boop addiction, was at times more of a grown-up than ever was.

"But that wasn't your first time.."

"Yes, it was. It was the first time I ever _made love_ with anyone, so therefore, it was my first time. It's the only one that matters, the only one that's ever going to matter."

He let his head drop. He hated she was making it so hard to be mad. He had every right to be mad. Okay, maybe not at her. But he was a man after all; he didn't like the thought of another guy with his hands all over her, making her glow the way he did. On the other hand though, he felt like he needed to know every detail about when she was with Sim. How he touched her, where he touched her, how much she liked. It made him want to throw up, but he felt like he needed to know about it.

Suddenly, she was holding onto him, and though reluctantly, he was gripping her right back.

"I wanted you to be jealous, but I never ever wanted you to question what we have" She whispered.

Ryan sighed. It felt like all he ever did was question what they had. First he had wondered whether he really loved her or not. Once that was decided, he questioned whether they were really right for each other. Then, he questioned whether he was ready to settle down. Now he was left wondering if maybe she would end up leaving him. He still didn't know exactly what to say, so he just held tighter.

"Are…are we still getting married?" She asked softly.

He kissed her hair lightly, before releasing her enough to look at her.

"Under one condition"

"What would that be?" She smiled

"That we get married in by the end of the month."

She looked far less than sure.

"Ryan…that's in like three weeks, I can't plan a wedding that quick. I have to get a dress, all kinds of planning has to go into it. Hindu weddings are extensive, and even if we have a regular ceremony, it's going to take some amount of planning."

He sighed.

"I guess I could wait…"

She bit her lip and thought really hard for minute. Kelly Kapoor wanted a fancy wedding, but she was Kelly Kapoor! She could do it in three weeks, no problem, and after all, the sooner, the better.

"I changed my mind…three weeks is plenty. You're on honey bear."

He was still unsure as hell about things, but he knew one thing for sure. Kelly was his, and no one else's. He'd show that Indian heartthrob. He'd show her parents. He'd even show creepy Dwight. This wedding, this marriage, was going to happen. No time to be sure.

Just as Kelly had reached up behind his neck and pulled him behind a blanket of silky black hair for a kiss, the doors popped opened, and a shirtless Dwight popped in, followed by a panting Michael. By the looks of them, they had shimmied won the shaft.

"Crisis averted, crisis averted" Dwight was saying into what he obviously thought was a walkie-talkie. Ryan recognized it right off as Jim's old AM radio that had no batteries. "I repeat, crisis averted, we have retrieved the victims. As soon as I hoist one on my back, I'll be up."

As Dwight tried to pull a protesting Kelly onto his shoulders, Michael clung to Ryan like glue.

"I was so worried!" Suddenly, he saw Kelly, and quickly added, "About both of you…so, so worried about both of you."

* * *

//Individual shot Toby// 

"Wow. I have literally tons of HR forms to fill out. First, a marriage one for Ryan and Kelly. Then, a company form about the elevator situation. Oh, and then Kelly is filing a complaint of harassment against Dwight for forcibly picking her up, and climbing through the shaft with her, even though it was two-inch climb she could have made by herself. Which he is countering with a complaint about her lack of gratitude toward him for saving her life. Which he states in the form he is now regretting. Then Ryan is filing a private complaint about Michael following him…again. Michael claims it's just out of fear of losing him…yeah. So, it's actually just another ordinary day."


	7. Necessary Alliances

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Office, and I am in no way affiliated with NBC. I also don't own Ryan, Kelly, any other character. EXCEPT for Dr. Yavar. He's mine 3

**Summary: **Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn't ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Now it's meddling sisters, co-workers, and mother-in-laws-to-be. And who in the Hell is Dr. McPerfectIndian, and who does he think he is? So begins the most awful period of Ryan's life; but at times the most awesome.

**Authors Note**: Let me apologize hugely for the delay. I took a little unexpected trip the beach this weekend, a surprise from the husband! It was fun. But not being quite the travel agent his wife is, he rented a condo with a fuzzy TV connection, so Thursday night all my favorite office cast members looked like cone heads!

Ooo la la though Ms.Office, upset I am not, I was able to see the completely jealous look on Ryan's face, and the harsh tone with which he sent Darryl back to the ware house with. Oh yeah, he wants her back. And I have a feeling, after Darryl's ultimatum about Kelly toning down her crazy, that Ryan will be even more jealous if she starts acting all quiet and collected, or something. What fun!

I feel bad for Darryl though, because he seems to really like Kelly, and from his talking head about her only liking him with Ryan around, he understands that he's only a rebound. Totally heartbreaking line of the night… "She only seems to want to talk to me when Ryan's around. It's weird. I find myself smiling whenever I see the him walk through the door"

Sorry for rambling, without further ado…

**Ready Or Not**

* * *

_ IV. Necessary Talks/Alliances_

* * *

// Individual shot Dwight//

"Failure? I don't know the word. It's not in the Schrute vocabulary. We are a family of success stories. Brilliant people overcoming perilous odds to do amazing things. So what if Ryan's adapted to the idea of marrying Kelly? That only means my plans have to adapt as well. The Schrutes are also very versatile adapters. My goal is still to make Ryan as miserable as he made a certain fragile co-worker by spreading slanderous filth. However, instead of wrangling him to a ball and chain, I now must make him lose what it appears he most desires….How? Well, of course I know my exact course of action. But to share it with you would be lunacy…you haven't the proper security clearance to know."

* * *

"Thank you sooo much for calling Dunder-Mifflin, this is Kelly Howard, how may I help you today?"

Kelly couldn't help but giggle as she looked in the mirror, practicing the line for the hundredth time. Somehow, she never got tired of it. Just like she never got tired of that new "Bubbly" song. They were both equally awesome.

True, she wasn't officially Kelly Howard yet, but she would be in less than three weeks. That's right. In exactly eighteen short days, she would walk straight down the aisle, and into the arms of the man of her dreams. When she dreamed about her wedding day as a child, it had not been a happy dream. Everything about her marriage had already been decided for her, for as long as she could remember. All of the other girls at school got to change their minds about what boy, teacher, or TV star they wanted to marry everyday if they wanted. Kelly's fate had been decided the day she was born, and her horoscopes had been compared to those of Narsimha Yavar's. Did it matter to her Mom and Dad that he was already a rambunctious five year old, and she was just a cooing pinky bundle? Nope. All they could see was the future.

Kelly had rebelled against their decision for most of her life. She had rebelled against everything. She refused to wear saris or head jewels to school, and covered herself in glittery tops and butterfly clips, despite her parent's disgust. She ignored her Veda reading, and poured over Teen People and Cosmo instead. And more than anything, she refused to have anything to do with that dork Sim.

They really began pushing Kelly around her fifteenth birthday. She was in the middle of her freshmen year, and Sim, who was twenty, had just started medical school. A prodigy, he had finished graduate school in only two years. The guy had to be completely void of a social life. She couldn't even manage to get her biology homework done. Kelly was having none of the relationship. He was a complete tool. He read all the time, and wanted to talk about the human anatomy, and saving lives, and all the modern advances in medicine. All the kind of stuff that was lame to Kelly.

Sim was set on doing exactly what his parents wanted, and when they were together at anytime he would turn the conversation to their future life together, which Kelly would be forced to remind him was never going to happen. She hated how he had always seemed so utterly confident. It made her set on the fact that she would never so much as touch him, let alone marry him.

The issue sort died after he went to medical school. He was far to wrapped up think about getting married. He wanted his degree first, then he would be able to provide for his wife.

Then, when Kelly was barely eighteen years old, at the end of her senior year, her older sister Dainka died suddenly, out of the blue. It was unexplainable at first, since she'd only just been feeling sick for about an hour. An autopsy reveled that it was a freak occurrence. A blood clot had reached her sister's lung, and quickly burst. Nothing could have been done.

Kelly was devastated. She couldn't eat. She couldn't talk. She couldn't even watch 90210 re-runs. And though she wouldn't admit it, beyond grieving for her sister, the spontaneous embolism her sister died from also made her scared for her life. She had never know it could end that fast. In her time of immense sadness and shock, Sim was there. He was there in away he'd never been there before. He was warm, comforting, and just there. Plus, he'd been studying a bit of cardiology, and was able to reassure her about advances in medicine.

It was then that Kelly gave herself to Sim, fully. She lost her virginity to him in the upstairs room of her grandma's house, where she had snuck off to mope at her sister's wake. Afterwards, for a while, Kelly accepted her fate of becoming his wife. He mother was so happy. Kelly was mildly sure that she took up with the idea of planning a wedding in order to hide her immense grief over Dainka. A month into the planning though, Kelly broke the news to her parents that she could not marry Sim.

She moved out, and in with her cousin for a while, actually for about three years. A couple days after her twenty-second birthday, she found her job at Dunder-Mifflin, and had been there ever since. She rarely shared her life story with anyone there. It was too sad. It was more fun to talk about pretty things. Like shoes, and skirts, and Brangelina.

Ever so often, the old grief crept back up on her too, and it took this day to strike again, and before she knew it, she was lying in the empty tub, fully dressed, looking listlessly upward, tears streaming silently.

That's how Ryan found her. At first he didn't know what to say. He'd just come to see if she wanted to stop for a muffin before work. He just stared at her for moment, and she seemed to not even notice he was in the room. He silently understood what was going on. Sim (as much as he hated think of their confrontation) had warned him about this. Kelly was not really herself right now.

Without out words, her climbed into the tub, and wedged himself under her, and wrapped his arms tightly around her petite body. At first she seemed to resist the closeness, but then she buried her teary face in his chest, staining the white fabric of his shirt with hot tears and smeared mascara.

He made gentle 'shhh'ing noises, and rubbed up and down her back. He had never been able to be there emotionally for Kelly, but he was always able to express himself physically to her. Part of him was content with that. It was the best way to be. But, the other part of him knew that if this was going to be his wife, he needed to let her lay her burden on him

"Tell me...everything." He whispered.

So she did. Her face clinging to his collarbone area, her words muffled by tears and his skin, she told him everything. All about her sister, and how smart she'd been, and how much she'd loved her. All about the scary sudden way she'd died. All about her own fears of not living long enough to live like she'd dreamed. Then, she took a deep breath, and told him all about what happened with Sim. She felt his body go rigid and tense under her, and after she was done, she was scared to look up. His eyes seemed angry, and he released her for minute, and buried his own head in his hands.

For a minute, she thought about taking it all back, and apologizing, over and over. But then, he gathered her back up close to him, and pressed his face close to hers, his eyes blazing, but not exactly with anger.

"**I'm** going to be here for you from now on. You don't need some rich doctor, you have me, and I lo-.. I'm going to take care of you Kelly...in every single way. Our stars may be completely out of whack or whatever, but we are going to work. I swear, you'll see…you don't have to be scared of anything, because I'm here, and I want you to know that it's a _man_ that's here."

Kelly had only seen him so intense, so honest, on two other occasions. On the night of the Dunder-Mifflin Michael Scott Charity Second Chance Prom, where he had first admitted he loved her, and then on the night in the parking lot a few nights later where he had pulled all the stops to get her back in his life.

His intensity melted Kelly, and she felt so safe, and void of another feeling but complete ardor as he parted her lips with his tongue, and made endless promises without words. Ryan's kiss was so deep that Kelly struggled for breath, but still had the ability to beg for more. Ryan smiled, satisfied with himself, and stood from the tub, pulling her up with him.

"Let's go get dressed for work" He said. Kelly practically attached her self to him, arms so tight at his waist that he was basically walking for them both.

"I want to get _un_dressed" She begged. Ryan just grinned slyly, and went through his half of the closet looking for a shirt the best he could with Kelly wrapping her fingers in his hair with one hand, and pulling at his belt with the other.

"Please baby" She whined, and wiggled between him and the clothes "I want you so bad. Don't you want me?"

Ryan didn't answer. It drove him nuts when she pleaded this way. It made him feel so good, so needed. The longer he waited, the more she needed him, and the better it felt.

"Come on business boy, take you fiancée's clothes off and be here for her like you promised."

Finally Ryan broke, he spun her around and backed her toward the bed.

"Business what?" He asked rushing a hand up her thigh, hiking up her loose skirt.

"Man." She said picking up on his hint "Big, strong, hot business man that makes his sale every time in my bed."

"That's more like it." He smirked, "Now what were you saying…something along the lines of wanting me so bad or something?"

Kelly was already tugging off his shirt, and he helped her undo his belt buckle. Her clothes were shrugged off with ease, and Ryan laced his fingers in her hair, pulling it back slightly to expose her full neck, which he began, a row of urgent kisses.

"Say it again" He said, lips sliding lightly over the lobe of her ear. "Tell me you need **me**"

"I need _you_ Ryan…forever."

For once, the word forever, didn't make Ryan want to hope a bus to Mexico. It made him push Kelly softly onto the bed, and give her exactly what she wanted.

When she lay in his arms an hour later, when they should have been at work, she smiled as she looked at his silent face, eyes open, not speaking.

"Satisfied?" He asked, still sweating lightly.

"Exhausted…but totally satisfied." She kissed his forehead, and then turned the opposite way, pulling arm to encircle her, ensuring their continued closeness.

Ryan fidgeted a bit, and Kelly sensed he wanted to ask a question. She crossed both her legs around one of his, and sighed contentedly. Finally, he asked slowly.

"Kel…it sounds crazy, but I'm a man and I have to know.."

"You" She said turned back over, and propping up on her hand "Are a hundred times better baby. The best ever. " He smiled at how quickly she knew, and that the answer was one he liked. "No one makes me feel like you do."

He wrapped her arms around hastily and in turn laced both his legs around one of hers, pinning her.

"Kelly Kapoor, you are amazing."

* * *

//Individual shot Daisy, Yavar's receptionist//

"So… you're following the really creepy guy that was looking for Dr. Y. Is this like a documentary about a psycho or something….huh? Oh…I get it. A _bunch_ of psychos then."

* * *

"So, therefore you see that is imperative that we align together and come up with some solution to prevent these nuptials from occurring. We must band together to do whatever it takes to reach our common goal."

Dwight Schrute was always a man with a plan. Now that Ryan Howard seemed content to become Kelly's husband, which meant his original plan to make Ryan miserable fallen a bit short, something must be done. He would not fail, but rather re-strategize. That's what good hunters did. They slapped their prey around a little before going for the jugular.

To help him in his noble quest, he had sought out the help of powerful aide in Narsimha Yavar, the one person who would totally agree with him that something had to be done.

"I'm not doing anything to stop the wedding" The surgeon affirmed, shutting a file on his desk which he had been half reading while listening to the crazy character who had burst through his door, introducing himself as "neither friend nor foe, but a potential ally." Sim had allowed him to say what he needed to say more out of sheer amusement than anything else. Could this guy really be for real?

"What do you mean? You are Kelly's soul mate…what will your Vishnu think?" Dwight asked horrified. He was very versed in the Hindu religion. He was very versed in all religion. In fact, he was very versed in everything.

"Vishnu will provide what I need, when I need it. He knows that Kelpita and I are meant to be, so all I must do is wait for her to realize that, and she will. No matter when that is, a husband will wait here to take care of her, and be all the things that she needs" He said calmly, and Dwight sort of admired his assured stature. This man was definitely cut from the same cloth as Michael Scott.

"That may be true. Kelly may just wake up a realize that…but what if she doesn't? I don't think you realize what an evil force you are dealing with in young Ryan Howard."

Sim laughed an easy laugh.

"Please. I deal with young, cocky little interns just like him here all the time. They're all the same. Living for their self and their own face value. Thinking they're a prince, when in fact they're little more than pauper. Kelpita is just fascinated by the challenge. She will come to her senses before the wedding and see what is really right for her."

"So, she'll make that decision in three weeks then?" Dwight asked, arching a brow.

Sim looked a bit ruffled for the first time.

"Three weeks? They're aren't getting married in three weeks."

Dwight smiled; glad to be the harbinger of such pivotal news. He finally was getting somewhere.

"Oh. You hadn't heard. They' so excited and sure of themselves they've decided to tie the knot three weeks from Saturday. That is, Saturday as in three days ago. As in they plan to wed in less than eighteen days."

Sim sat back down in his chair. This rush on the wedding was not good news. This meant that Kelpita had less time to come to her senses. What happened to good, old fashioned, long engagements?

"That is not good news." He openly admitted "But I will not be brought down to the level of schemes and plotting. He's a young punk of a salesmen… no offense. I refuse to fight him over this."

"So, the respect of your family, your community, and your God, not to mention the love of a woman whom by all rights belongs to you, is not worth fighting for?" Dwight asked.

Sim spun his pen around uneasily in his hand. He hated to be backed into a corner like this. He was used to coming out on top in all situations.

In his silence, Dwight continued.

"Listen Dr., I think you are not seeing the whole picture. This is not about simple matters of the heart. Kelly is in danger at the hands of this…malodorous mongrel. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing I tell you. He's a charmer, yet a betrayer. A real Judas...not that you would know who that is. He's done harm to Kelly in the past, and will again. The worst of it he has her, and our boss for that matter wrapped around his little finger. This tyranny must end."

Sim began tapping his pen urgently on his desktop.

"So you feel Pita is in real danger from this man?"

"I'd bet my beet farm on it." Dwight affirmed.

After more silence, and much hesitation, Sim spoke up.

"Okay Mr. Schrute, I accept your help. We have to come up with a plan."

Dwight smiled, so very pleased with himself. He stretched out a pale hand. More hesitation, and Sim reluctantly shook it, making a mental note to scrub later on.

"Alliance on." Dwight nodded maliciously.


	8. The Great Sex Ban

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Office, and I am in no way affiliated with NBC. I also don't own Ryan, Kelly, any other character. EXCEPT for Dr. Yavar. He's mine 3

**Summary: **Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn't ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Now it's meddling sisters, co-workers, and mother-in-laws-to-be. And who in the Hell is Dr. McPerfectIndian, and who does he think he is? So begins the most awful period of Ryan's life; but at times the most awesome.

**Authors Note**: Grr. Delay again, very sorry. Just work stuff, and the son's got a billion things going on that I have to be there for.

No Ryan and Kelly last week. We saw her for a second with Darryl once or twice. When we see him again, he better be JEALOUS!

Dry chapter, but here you go!

**Ready Or Not**

* * *

_The Great Sex Ban_

* * *

//Individual shot Michael//

"Me, have a problem with Ryan and Kelly getting married? Why would I have a problem? Oh…did I say that? Well, I mixed pills with booze or something…not that I drink…or do drugs, or do them at the same time. Anyway, I'm totally cool about my best buddy, my prodigy Ryan tying the knot…before me. Especially since I get the biggest most important part of all…. co-head usher! Oh yeah…Ryan begged me, and of course I was like 'Sure bro, you can count on me to step up. I'll even sing for you' " He coughs "Of course, he said they were getting a DJ, but he appreciated the offer."

Michael sits still for a minute 

"Can we edit the drugs part, and add me doing a DARE PSA or something?"

* * *

//Individual shot Ryan//

"Yeah, I'm letting Michael be co-head usher with my cousin Bryant. It was just easier this way. He's going to make a fool of himself anyway, so at least I let him feel important while doing it."

* * *

//Individual shot Pam//

"Yay! I'm a bridesmaid. That sounds girly, but I've been a bride's maid once before, and it was really fun. You get all these little presents, and get to wear a pretty dress…or at least my dress was cute, and totally re-wearable. You guys saw it; I wore it on Casino Night. I was worried that the dress Kelly was going to pick would be a little loud for me, but it was actually very tasteful. It's pink, of course. But not tacky pink, pretty pink. What? Yeah, I'm the only one in the office she asked. It's sort of causing a bit of fuss. But…" Pam grins "Jim gets to walk me down the aisle, so I'm okay."

* * *

// Individual shot Kelly//

"I am marrying Ryan Bailey Howard in thirteen days…thirteen days! Oh my gosh. I'm so excited. Like, unbelievably excited. More excited than I was the time I met Pink's lawyer's cousin's girlfriend. My parents are like, disowning me for marrying Ryan and not having a Hindu ceremony... but I'll get over it. I've got Ryan! I hope my sisters get to come, Neepa's , my maid of honor."

* * *

"13 days.." Kelly breathed dreamily, looking into the refrigerator door, swishing her green (Kelley green that is!) flowy dress a bit.

Pam smiled from the counter.

"It's getting really exciting now, huh?"

"Yeah" Kelly grinned, "It just feels _real_ now, you know. Now that a date's been set, and it's so close."

"Just don't pull a Pam." The receptionist joked.

"Never. No offense, but Ryan's the one for me. I'm totally happy. He completes me…just like Tom Cruise did for Renee Zelweger in 'Jerry Maguire.'"

Phyllis Vance entered, and held her nose up.

"Would you mind not standing in front of the fridge like that Kelly? Some of us need to use it."

Kelly backed away, and Phyllis extracted a chocolate pudding, and slammed the fridge door behind her.

"Pam, since you seem to be the only one anyone likes in this office, could you tell Michael that Bob Vance and I have an event to attend and I'll be leaving early."

"Sure Phyllis" Pam said uneasily.

The older woman trudged out, and the girls sat wordless for moment.

* * *

//Individual shot Phyllis//

"You know what, Angela is right, green _is_ a slutty color."

* * *

Before they could discuss the awkwardness Kelly choosing only Pam as a bridesmaid had caused, Dwight lurched in, eyes beadier than usual.

"So I was just reading this article…in Cosmo.-" He began instantly.

"Wait a minute, you read Cosmo, Dwight?" Pam asked disbelievingly.

"They occasionally share some deep insights into the female physique which I find fascinating. Sue me Pam. " He growled " As I was saying however, I read a very interesting article that said that couples could sometimes mistake good sex for a good relationship"

"Oh Dwight gross" Kelly said suddenly.

"What?"

"Just hearing the word 'sex' come out of your mouth makes me nauseous. Sorry."

"That's preposterous. I participate in intercourse often" He paused irritated as both girls cringed. "However, I read that couples who base their relationship on carnality don't last very long. Marriages built on sex are twice as likely to fail. Libido is the first thing to go you know."

"Why are you telling us this Dwight?" Pam asked, giving the camera an awkward glance.

"Simply because the two of you have flowering relationships one that is about to culminate in a marriage. I thought it proper information for Kelly…and of course you Pam…and all the other people of the office. I plan to send out a memo…and I left the article, highlighted at the most important part…lying on your desk Kelly."

The girls just stared at him blankly, until he retreated from the room. He smiled winningly to himself. The stage had been set for plan one.

* * *

"Bum bum ba bum, bum bum ba bum" Jim sung at his desk, and snickered when Ryan finally looked up. "Sorry, I've got that in my head for some reason, and I can't get it out."

"Wonder why?" Ryan asked in light sarcasm.

"So, while the girls are gone out to lunch, why don't you tell me how you feel about the wedding today? I mean, since you go so back and forth and all."

"Hey, I just go through the understandable emotions that any man foes through when faced with being tied down for the rest of his life."

"Yeah, but most normal people are actually the ones who propose to their girl"

Ryan gave him a dark look for a moment, but finally shook it off.

"Well, let's just say that Dwight thinks he's slick, but his plan backfired on him" Ryan said, almost allowing himself to smile a small bit

"Because what Dwight doesn't understand is that even though Kelly drives me insane…she also drives me _insane_. I couldn't ask for someone to love me as much as or as purely as she does. So, Dwight just did something for me that it would have took me years to do on my own, so I kind of should thank him."

"A swing and miss for the Sith Lord" Jim clucked in mock disappointment, before laughing.

They're conversation was broken apart by a loud laughter, which was unmistakably trademark Michael Scott.

He walked in the front door, his arm around the shoulder of a tall dark man.

"You are hilarious! Are you like a comedy doctor or something?"

Ryan's fist clenched, as Jim sized up the situation, and being the observant man he was, realized that Michael was parading Narsimha Yavar into their building.

"Hey JimShoe, tell PammyCakes to hold all my calls for the rest of day when she gets back, I'm going racquet balling with the Dr. McDreamy over there."

Michael rushed into his office like a giddy schoolgirl to collect his things.

Ryan almost threw this chair back making his way over to the Sim, who looked a shade less intimating when not clad in heavy-duty scrubs.

"What the hell are you doing here? I told you, there is nothing you can do."

Sim smiled the easy smile that Ryan resented. Like he had all the answers.

"Down boy. I was unaware that this was an off limits zone for me. I'm not good enough to be on your…turf."

"Leave" He seethed.

"This is a free country. I'm allowed to come to a _paper company_ anytime I want. Your boss was at the hospital for check-up, and I thought it gracious to introduce myself to Kelpita's boss."

"Her boss has nothing to do with you, she has nothing to do with you. Let it go, we're getting married in two weeks."

The Indian man laughed louder this time.

"Still clinging that that childish thought. Well you live in your dream world Ryan Howard, and I will reside in the world of truth."

"You're so pathetic. Can't the big bad doctor get a woman of his own, he has to come steal mine?"

Sim's eyes went a little aflame.

"How easily you forget paper salesmen that Pita was mine first, in every way it counts."

Ryan's jaw locked, and he took another step forward, and Jim jumped in between the two.

"Okay, no need to start throwing punches. Just take a breath you two."

Sim's easy smile was back since Ryan showed his insecurity.

"I am sorry to disturb your workday…Mr.Halpert." He said reading the plate of Jim's desk "After my conversation with the boy wonder here, you are more than welcome to join me and Mr. Scott"

""No thanks" Jim smiled, and took his seat back.

"Our conversation is over" Ryan said fuming.

"Just like child. Can't stand to hear the truth. Kelpita will see that Ryan, she will see that you will never be able to satisfy her like I can…in any way." Sim said with a wink.

Ryan made to lunge at but Michael came rushing from his office.

"Hey, hey! Jim get your spray bottle. Ryan, stay away from my new friend. You can't go acting all out of jealousy around here, it's unacceptable."

"We better get going Michael, it looks like Ryan needs to wallow in self pity, and hopefully realization, for a while."

Ryan looked at his white knuckles as they exited. Jim had no idea what to say. No matter what it was, Ryan was not going to here it.

He threw things off his desk, and when it was cleared, started knocking down Dwight's bubblehead collection as well.

* * *

As they rode the elevator back up to the office building, Pam laughed mockingly at Kelly.

"Come on, you actually read into that article that Dwight left on your desk?"

"Oh, it has zero to do with that creepy Trekky." She said rolling her eyes lightly "Cosmo is a great book to live by though, and it has helped me out so much in the past. I mean, Ryan first noticed me because I used it's 'Twenty Ways To Put The Junk-in-your-Trunk' self help guide"

"But do you really think you tow have a problem with replacing talking with sex?" Pam asked, brow lifted.

"I don't know. We do …you know..._it_ a lot." She admitted shyly "When we're happy, when we're sad, when we're angry at each other, when nothing good is on cable."

"So you'd rather talk more about your problems?"

"Just talk more in general, I wish he would open up to me a little more. I understand it's not his way, but I'm about to be his wife…" She sighed, "Do you think I'm crazy Pam?"

Pam shook her head "Not at all Kel. If you feel like it's going to hurt you guys once your married, then it's a valid point."

Kelly nodded, and tried to distance it from her mind. The next time something came up though, she was going to force Ryan to talk it out with her, just to be sure that he suspicion didn't have any warrant.

"What happened here?" Pam asked eyes wide when they walked through the front door, and found him and Dwight cleaning up a mess.

"Hurricane Hubbie" Jim said grimacing at Kelly.

"And he's getting wrote up." Dwight growled, examining a slight crack in his miniature self.

"Where is he?" Kelly asked, before even daring to ask what happened.

"In your annex, but Kelly, just let him cool off for a while okay.." Jims said, but before he could explain to her what happened, she was rushing back there.

He was sitting on her desk, a hard intense look on his face.

"Oh baby, what happened?" She asked, rushing over to look at his bruised hand.

He ignored her question and just curled his hurt hand up in her sleek hair.

"Just tell me you love me Kelly, say it now"

"Of course I love you Ryan, what's going on?"

"Nothing. This is nothing; it's got nothing to do with us. We're fine. You and me are fine."

"I know we are, but you have to tell me what happened Ryan"

"I'd rather take off your dress" He said, and before she could protest, he was sending his hand up it, searching for her front bra clasp.

"No Ryan, stop" Kelly said, pushing at his hands "We need to talk"

"Come on Kelly, I thought I satisfied you" He said not budging hand until he could the clasp and undid it. Through her gentle shoving, he managed to pin her up against her filing cabinet. His hands all over her, tugging at her panties on the way back down. Kelly almost just gave in. Then she remembered the article said to stand firm to save your relationship.

She pulled his hands from her dress, and took a few deep breaths.

"That's it. No more sex!" She said in her best Oprah-style dominance.

Ryan's mouth fell open.

* * *

//Individual shot Michael//

" Jealous Ryan. It's sweet it really is. I mean, I take back what I said. Ryan totally has something to fear. That brain surgeon is hot! Not that I notice that kind of thing, but it's just…well Jan thinks he's hot. Yeah, so from a woman's point of view Yavar is suuuuper hot. Anyway, the jealousy thing really become shim. I love that he care s so much about or friendship…I really do"


	9. One Week Left

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Office, and I am in no way affiliated with NBC. I also don't own Ryan, Kelly, any other character. EXCEPT for Dr. Yavar. He's mine 3

**Summary: **Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn't ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Now it's meddling sisters, co-workers, and mother-in-laws-to-be. And who in the Hell is Dr. McPerfectIndian, and who does he think he is? So begins the most awful period of Ryan's life; but at times the most awesome.

**Authors Note**: Wow. After that delay I bet you thought I was neeeever coming back, didn't you? Sorry. With the Office hiatus, and not seeing them on the screen as much, I lost my muse for writing them. However, I was watching some stuff on YouTube, clip videos of them and stuff, and suddenly remembered my stories. After re-reading them both, I sort of got a spark of muse, so I'm baa-ck!

**Ready Or Not**

* * *

_One Week Left_

* * *

//Individual shot Kevin//

" Ryan, is so not getting any" He snickers heavily. "It's awesome. He's had sex zero times this week, and I've had sex…well zero times too, but Stacy's been gone skiing. She's back tonight though..." Kevin gives his classic nodding grin, and holds up one finger.

* * *

Kelly sat in the break room on the counter top looking pretty morose, when Pam and Jim entered to get their lunches, laughing. After seeing the look on Kelly's face, Pam gives Jim a knowing look he grabs his sandwich and pats Kelly's back on the way out.

Pam sits at the table, unfolding her lunch slowly.

"So, Kelly…one week left. Aren't you excited?"

Kelly looks up slowly, and offers Pam a half smile. "Sure, I'm totally super excited."

"You don't really look totally super excited. In fact, I'd say you looked totally super depressed."

Kelly bit her lip, and hopped off the counter to take a seat at the table with Pam. She didn't want to say anything. She'd been trying really hard to be positive about this whole thing. After all, the sex-ban was her idea. It was hard to admit that it wasn't working out the way she planned at all.

She sighed finally.

"It's just…I thought this ban on sex was going to make Ryan open up to me, you know, tell me junk about his life, and what he was feeling. I was wrong. It's just made him act all distant, and snappy all the time. It's just like when we were dating in the beginning all over again. He plays his X-box and barely looks at me. I mean, he never even told me what he was mad about last Friday, I had to let Jim explain to me about Sim coming here." She paused after getting all that out, and slumped her head down "I just wish he would talk to me. I tell him everything, so I totally know it's not hard."

Pam gave her a reassuring smile.

"It's hard for a guy Kelly. They never say what they want to say. They just swallow it, and keep going with life."

"Jim's open though, isn't he?"

"Kelly, it took Jim over three years to tell me he loved me."

"Yeah, but you were engaged to somebody else Pam! Ryan and me are together, and he knows how much I love him, how nothing can change that, and he's still…just I don't know, emotionally distant."

"Maybe he's just a better listener. Look Kelly, I think maybe you just have to stop waiting for everything to just change miraculously. Bring it up to him that you want to talk, that you two only have a week left before you marry, and you need to hear what's going through his head."

Kelly nodded, still looking morose.

Seeing Kelly's saddened a expression, a certain part-time deputy sheriff quickened his step back to his seat, his face beaming with joy.

* * *

//Individual shot, Oscar//

"I am so tired of hearing about Ryan and Kelly. I could care less if their having sex or not. I mean, some of us haven't had sex in over a week. In over a month." He states, his voice dark.

* * *

//Individual shot, Meredith//

"I heard Ryan had a little pent up 'steam' to pour out, if you know what I mean. So I followed him into the bathroom and offered my...services. He told me he wasn't going to cheat, but I explained to him what I told my ex-husband. It isn't cheating if it's in the bathroom. That's where anything can happen" She smiles slyly "He said he had somewhere to be, and with how fast he got out of there, I believed him."

* * *

Ryan sat on the couch at Kelly's (well, their) place later that night, flipping through the channels sourly.

This week had sucked. Not only had he been forced to go a whole week barely touching Kelly, but he had also had to deal with all the comments from the guy at work. He'd never wanted to punch Kevin so bad in his whole life. Even Creed had wrote about it on his 'blog.'

He didn't even look up from the screen when Kelly came in from the kitchen.

"I brought you a drink." She said sweetly, and offered it to him.

After a few seconds of dead air, he reached and took the drink, and muttered "Thanks."

A little disheartened, she settled herself down beside him anyway, and looked him over, before setting herself in the crook of his arm, her head resting just under his chin. She turned her eyes slowly up to glance at him, but his eyes were plastered on the TV, and his arm hung limp around her. She tried running her hands up and down his chest, but he stayed tensed.

She just sighed, and turned her eyes to the TV.

"Ugh. I don't want to watch Die Hard baby, isn't it time for E-TV's celeb gossip report?"

He closed his eyes annoyed. "Yes, it is, but I hate that show."

"Oh. Okay." She said simply, and nuzzled in closer.

He couldn't believe it. She really wasn't going to fight him, not even one whine? He suddenly felt bad for being so cold to here, but he was still mad. He couldn't help it.

After a few more minutes of silence, except for the on-screen explosions, Kelly sighed.

"I'm going to go take a bath" She said, and rose from where she was at. He moved his eyes to look at her a bit, and she kissed him on the cheek. He still didn't say anything, and just as she was about to walk into her bedroom, she turned on her heels.

"All right Ryan Howard, this is it!" She said lightly stomping back over, hands on her hips.

Here it was. She was going to demand they watch E-TV, and call him jerk.

"Okay, okay. Don't be such a baby, I'll let you watch the celebrity rumor guide or whatever."

"It's celeb gossip report!" She said disgustedly, and sat back down on the couch. "But this has nothing to with that. This has to do with how you've been treating me."

"Treating you? I haven't done anything. I've barely spoken to you this whole week."

"Exactly" She said, hurt that he would acknowledge is so quickly, as if it was nothing "In one week I'm going to be your wife, and you're treating me like a plague. I even wore my cute blue wrap dress today, and you always said you loved that one me, and you didn't even look at me all day!"

He rolled his eyes. "God Kelly. Make up your mind. Do want space from me, or do you want me all over you?"

She shot back a look of just as much indifference as his, but after a second looked at the floor, sadly.

"I just want you talk to me. I want you to trust me the way I trust you. You think this whole sex ban was just to be mean, but it's not like that at all. I love you, I don't want to hurt you. I just want…" Before she could finish, she started softly tearing up.

Ryan tried to set by, unaffected, but as often as she did it, he hated to see her cry, so he slid over beside her, and rubbed his hand up and down her back.

"Don't do this Kel. Don't cry. I'm sorry, okay. I've been a jerk all week, and you don't deserve that. I'm just pissed, and I'm taking it out on you" He said gripping her close.

She sniffed a few more times, but cleared her eyes and looked at him.

"Would it be so hard for you tell me why you're so pissed at me? I mean, I know it's more than the sex ban, cause if not, you're one heck of a sex addict."

He closed his eyes a bit darkly. Why did women beg to hear your problems? It's not like they really wanted to know. They just wanted you to make yourself all vulnerable and stuff; so that you were just like them. Still, he needed to be honest with Kelly, at least, slightly honest.

"I'm just...I'm still pissed about this guy Kelly, okay?" He said standing up agitatedly "I mean, here I was thinking that I was _it_ for you. The one and only, and all that jazz. I'd never even heard that guy's name. Then, I actually commit, you know make a promise to you, and all of a sudden, here's this guy who's _more_ meant for you than I am, who is smarter, richer, _taller_. And to top it all off, he sees to have actually known how to be there for you in the past. Oh, and your parents want you with him" He groaned.

She just stayed quiet, in case he had more.

"Then, he informs me that he can stop our wedding without lifting a finger, because even your gods are on his side. Then, he comes to the office, my office, and tries to turn my boss and everyone else against me. And he flaunts about you two, and being your first, again. It's just a little much for a man to take Kelly, okay?"

"C'mere" She said softly opening up her arms. She didn't have a satisfied smile on her face, just a warm expression. A bit reluctantly Ryan slumped back over, and laid his head in her lap. She played with his hair and massaged his neck. After a few minutes of just sitting like that she took his face in her hands for a change,

"You know what? Absolutely none of that is going to matter in a week. In seven short days, I'm going to walk down that aisle, and be yours, _all_ yours. And there is not a thing my parents, Sim, or even Vishnu can do to stop that." She kissed his nose lightly, and he smiled softly, forgetting how much he usually hated it when she did that. "That is, if you still want me to be yours.."

That's when Ryan remembered something important. Despite the fact he'd been mad this week, he had still been dead set on making her his wife after his latest confrontation with Sim. So, he'd gone two days ago and made good on another promise he'd made Kelly.

"That reminds me" He told her, reaching in his back pocket, and pulling out the little black velvet box. Kelly made a squeal, but just a light one.

"It's not a huge rock, but it's big enough I'm going to be making payments for years to come" He smiled, slipping it out of the box. She slowly held out her hand, dying to make a huge scene, but keeping herself still.Her eyes lit up when she saw the circular diamond stone, set in white gold. Ryan had actually listened to her! It was exactly like she described she wanted.

When he held it just at the edge of her finger, and looked up to her, blue eyes full, she felt exactly like Cinderella, and she never wanted that feeling to go away.

"Kelly Kapoor, will you marry me?"

"Of course silly! I already said yes" She said, breathing heavily.

Ryan nodded agreeing, not letting Kelly know that he needed to propose for real. For it to actually come from him. It may be a second proposal for her, but it was the first for him. The real one.

He slid the ring onto her finger, and before he could say one more word, she had threw her arms around him and was squealing at full volume.

"I love you, I love you, I love you" She kept repeating in his ear, and despite all his shortcomings next to Sim, at this moment, he felt like the champion.

* * *

"So, your perfect plan failed Mr. Schrute" Narsimha said knowingly as Dwight stood across from his desk again.

"Not failed per say. Just, didn't go as planned. It was working perfectly before the conniving little temp went and got that ring, and proposed to her for real. Of course, I've outlined all this in the memo before you.

Sim leaned forward on his elbows, and massaged his temples, before quickly looking up.

"What do you mean, proposed for real?"

Dwight rolled his eyes.

"Obviously you have read none of the background material on the case. The first proposal was a hoax, planned thoroughly by myself. I knew Ryan wasn't committed to Kelly. I felt the worst punishment I could give him was sticking him with her forever."

"But it didn't work, he was happy to be engaged to her?"

"Not at first" Dwight scoffed "That boy was miserable. Dreading the ball and chain of married life. He must have sent me like twenty death threats via email. Which I tried to show Toby, but he's…well I told you about him on the phone the other night."

Sim grimaced, again regretting giving this odd man his cell number. But, his over all was demeanor was now brighter.

"This is good news Mr. Schrute. Very good news." His easy smile slipped back on his face, and he leaned back relaxed in his chair.


End file.
